Not Worth Your Time: Watchmen Does Nothing But Slow Down Your Watch

Watchmen offers up multiple striking visual moments, but fails to generate those ever-so-wanted goose bump moments that make the film as good as the other superhero comic films like Batman or Spiderman.

Finally, according to comic book fans everywhere the greatest comic ever written, the Watchmen was brought to theaters. Unfortunately it fell from the sky under pressure, just like one character does in the beginning. The bad news about the film really is that it crumbles and strangles itself for almost three hours while the plot is essentially given away in the first 20 minutes. So overall, the good news is that once you see the opening credits you can hit the exit doors as it is easily the highlight of the film.

The plot tells its tale ever so slowly, explaining how a bunch of crime-fighters formed a secret club which was known as the Minutemen, who then were succeeded by copycats of them who were now known as the Watchmen. This entails a flick through history from the nineteen-forties to the eighties, with scenes of masked figures shaking hands and taking photos with popular public officials during those times.


As far as the superheroes go, it’s unsuccessful in giving the spotlight to a single character for more than two minutes, like other superhero movies such as Fantastic Four.The main characters are played out by:

•Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley), a some what of a psychopath, his face covered by a mask where inky patches constantly blot and re-form making him actually a little scary along with his scratchy voice that depicts trouble all in its self.

•Dan(Patrick Wilson), better known as the Night Owl, who keeps his old superhero outfit locked away in his basement with the other Watchmen toys and gadgets for that “just in case” moment of the future.

•The Comedian, who also it referred to as Eddie Blake (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), who is tragically killed in the opening of the film but gives movie viewers flashbacks of his unique superhero bigot attitude.

•Laurie, whose known as the alias of Silk Spectre (Malin Akerman) is the remake of her mother’s character from the original Minutemen. She remains sexy in her tight costume, but falls in love by little surprise.

•Adrian Veidt(Matthew Goode), who likes to be called Ozymandias. Ozymandias who becomes the secret of the whole film, as one might have guessed since he is absent in almost the whole three hours of the film.

This isn’t your classic superhero movie whatsoever, but an attempt at one while including a couple of erotic and nude moments hoping to score more than that. However, the only thing that it actually scores is parents unhappy reactions to the sexual encounters of the film; even though it is purposely rated “R” for a reason.



To view Watchmen for yourself, click here for local showtimes.